Thursday, December 22, 2011

An Educational Post For The Holidays

I have been sort of lonely since I haven't seen many friends these days, I think they are all busy doing stuff. So I decided to send out a happy holiday greeting to all and hope everyone is feeling good. (I was actually born several years ago during Christmas) Anyway I guess a lot of people don't know all the details about the holiday and since I think it is important to put educational stuff in a blog, here is how Christmas is celebrated around the world.

In Great Britain this guy, whose name was Guy, tried to put a bomb in Parliament on the 26th of December - but the bomb didn't go off. His name was Guy Faults. Well it turned out a big mess, and all the members of Parliament got mad at him and they all got into a big boxing match. The British still to this day celebrate Boxing Day on the 26th.

In the United States Christmas is officially started when they show a TV show called Rudolph the Red Nosed Rain Deer, which is made with these moving puppet things that jerk move around doing stuff in the snow. This show has Burl Ives inside of a snowman. He was a guy who sang folk songs and a lot of people thought people who sang folk songs were communists.  In those days some people were freaked out about communists. These people have now been replaced by people who are freaked out about UFOs.

Anyway Burl Ives used to live with the actor Harry Morgan, who sadly passed away last week. I liked Harry Morgan and was sad to hear this, but he was blessed with a long life. I liked his character on MASH but I didn't like his character on Dragnet so much since I though it made the police look like goody two-shoes.   I am not sure the term "goody two-shoes" will translate into any thing sensible if you are translating this blog post into Japanese.

Any way getting back to Rudolph and how this fits into everything. In the US when people get together for a holiday party, the parties always end up in a big fight every year. Some of the people think the title should be "Rudolph the Red Nose Rain Deer" and another group think it should be "Rudolph the Red Nosed Rain Deer" (past tense nosed). Often these fights are similar to the British tradition of Boxing Day.

Perhaps the best celebration traditions of Christmas come from Germany. The Germans were the ones who invented the Christmas tree. Beaucoup Weihnachtspl├Ątzchens are enjoyed by all the kids. I think people who don't usually like Christmas should take a trip to Germany anyway since all the little toys are so cute and so clever.

In South and Central America Papa Noel will come and leave a present under your pillow. Papa Noel is usually dressed in a red guayaberra shirt which is more sensible attire for that part of the world. I don't know too many more details on this part of the world, other than llamas are decorated with red hats with a white puff. The llamas eventually pull the hats off and eat them since llamas don't understand the holiday season.

Well I hope I was able to waste some of your time and shed some light on how the Christmas holiday is celebrated in different parts of the world.  Please feel free to offer any other traditions that I may have missed. I hope for much happiness for all.

Friday, December 16, 2011

We Humans Are All Pianos

I was thinking the other day that I was feeling like a piano. Not that I wanted to play a piano but that I was a piano. And that I guess we are all just pianos, with our keys ready to be played by any one who happens to be walking along and says "I see a piano to play." Some people know how to play our keys real well but others are just key bangers that are annoying.

You may note with the picture that I am wearing horns. There is nothing wrong with choosing to wear horns, but this really has nothing to do with this blog post.

But getting back to pianos, one thing that I have noticed is that a lot of people keep their lids closed. This is good in that no one will play your keys but it also means that no one who really knows how to play well will be able to play on you. So there you sit in the piano store with no opportunity to be played, but never risking a bad player playing some really hack rendition of a piece of music.

I guess when we watch TV or the read the news or go to our stupid jobs at work or what ever, we have our keys exposed to the world and must deal with a bunch of nit-wits who will try to play our keys. In fact even when you go to the store or even just try to walk somewhere there are people who think it is OK to just try to play your keys with out any real respect of the beautiful music that you can make as a human being.

I wonder why human beings invented crazy stuff, like why did humans invent music? I mean it is really weird that it is based on all that math and notes and timing and all. I guess that a lot of years ago a bunch of humans were sitting around and one of them invented music and the other humans said "hey that bunch of sounds is really cool and I think this invention should follow human civilization around all over the world" and the human who invented music said "hey, thanks a lot."

My friend Franz gave me a music box that has a picture of his family when you open it. When they were taking this picture they had just loaded up a lot of logs in the fire place and it became so hot that they had to take a lot of their clothes off. I though I would put it in my house but I realized I it was not rotation friendly - but I fixed it and here it is in this picture.

I hope everybody is having a good end of year holiday and that if you live south of the equator that you are having a great summer. Thank you for reading.
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